


Remember Why You're Even Breathing; You're Still Alive

by Kienova



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cunnilingus, Episode: s01e14 T.A.H.I.T.I., F/M, Oral Sex, Post-Episode: s01e13 T.R.A.C.K.S., Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 17:44:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13299981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kienova/pseuds/Kienova
Summary: “There you are,” he said quietly, giving her a sad smile as he cupped her cheek, the fabric deposited in the sink as she looked up at him. Lip quivering, she turned her face to kiss his palm, noting the sharp inhale that punched out of him at the action.“Please,” she whispered, one hand coming up to clasp against his wrist. Fitz gave her a confused look until a few tears slipped over her lashes as she clung to him, his pulse thundering beneath her fingertips.“Jemma –”“Please. I need to feel like I’m still breathing.”





	Remember Why You're Even Breathing; You're Still Alive

**Author's Note:**

> For an Anon on Tumblr who requested Fitz going down on Jemma. 
> 
> Title from Lifehouse's "In Your Skin"

She had been simmering in panic for two hours, her hands trembling the entire time, heart pounding in her chest and nausea rising in her as she desperately tried to digest what had been happening. She had clung to Fitz when he found her in the stock room, sobbing for what felt like ages until she managed to pull herself together, if only just, while they sped towards the trauma centre. The minute Skye was no longer in front of them, however, she felt her skin crawling with adrenalin; her body shaking with the need to have something to hold onto.

“I’m a mess,” she muttered to Coulson, the older man shooting her a gentle look.

“No, you did great,” he assured her, glancing over her body. “Why don’t you and Fitz go get cleaned up? You look like you could use a few minutes to yourself,” he urged her, motioning to the blood that stained her face and still crept along her hands.

“O-of course Sir,” Jemma breathed, clenching her hands at her sides before wandering back down the hall, Fitz waiting for her just around the corner. “Coulson says we should go clean up,” she told him, unable to look into his eyes as she headed back towards the plane, hearing Fitz fall into step behind her immediately. May and Ward remained in the waiting area as the two scientists passed them, the specialists having a quiet but heated argument.

She didn’t pay much attention to her surroundings until she found herself in the tiny bathroom on the plane, Fitz standing beside her as he reached around to help clear the last of the blood from her hands, his fingers tracing gently around her cuticles as he pressed soap against her skin, cleaning it. He grabbed for a cloth next, dampening it under the spray of the tap before nudging her, forcing her to pivot so that he could hold her chin steady as he slowly slid the flannel across her cheeks.

“There you are,” he said quietly, giving her a sad smile as he cupped her cheek, the fabric deposited in the sink as she looked up at him. Lip quivering, she turned her face to kiss his palm, noting the sharp inhale that punched out of him at the action.

“Please,” she whispered, one hand coming up to clasp against his wrist. Fitz gave her a confused look until a few tears slipped over her lashes as she clung to him, his pulse thundering beneath her fingertips.

“Jemma –”

“Please. I need to feel like I’m still breathing,” she gasped, surging forward to kiss him. He stumbled slightly before catching her around the waist, his fingers digging into her hips before he pushed her backwards, their lips parting with a pop as he panted, eyes wide.

“Jemma, we can’t,” he urged, trying desperately to fight off how his body wanted him to ignore his rational thought. He knew she was struggling. That she needed to feel something other than fear. But his own heart ached at the thought that it was merely comfort for her when he had come to realise, weeks earlier while watching the life slip from her body, that for him, it was much, much more.

“Please,” she implored, biting her bottom lip. He let out a growl before kissing her forehead, pulling her tight to his chest.

“Alright,” he agreed, breathing in the scent of her hair. He had never been able to deny her anything. “But... but we don’t... I can’t... it’s not, ugh, just go to my bunk,” he rushed. Jemma nodded, swiping at her eyes before nearly bolting for the door, her pulse pounding in her ears as she did as instructed, throwing the door open before collapsing into a sitting position on the edge of his bed. He followed a moment later, pupils blown wide as he took in the sight of her, a blush crawling up her neck as she regarded him with hooded eyes. He wanted to let her consume him, but fought the instinct, holding up a hand to her when she reached for him. She cocked her head to the side, confused, as he shucked off his jacket and the over-shirt he was wearing, standing before her in his t-shirt and denims before lowering himself to the ground, his hands resting on the bed next to her hips.

“Fitz –” she whispered, watching him.

“Just... just let me do this for you,” he responded.

She couldn’t help but whimper at the sight of him dropping to his knees before her, his eyes flickering up to hers before he looked down again, a flush high on his cheeks as he chewed at his bottom lip. She had, in the back of her mind, always been curious about whether or not Fitz would be good at something like this. If he would be interested in oral sex. He had always possessed an oral fixation, chewing on the end of pens until little bits of plastic would break off into his mouth, leaving him sputtering about the lab until she would force gum at him as an alternative. He always seemed to lick the butter off his fingers when they ate popcorn; chewing at the end of his straws before laving his tongue over them. She wasn’t sure if the intensity would translate well, but she couldn’t deny having thought about it time and time again after a long day with her own fingers buried between her legs.

He could feel himself shaking slightly as he slid his hands up under her skirt, grabbing the waistband of her tights before pulling them down, discarding the dark fabric on the carpet of her bunk before fiddling with the fabric at the edge of her skirt. Taking a deep breath he moved the material up to her hips, spreading her legs until he could see the pale skin of her thighs, bringing them to rest on his shoulders as he dropped a kiss on the tender flesh there. He felt her suck in a breath, her hand twitching against the edge of the sheets as he stroked a hand up her leg, moving it until he could stroke the thin cloth of her knickers, watching as the blue fabric dampened slightly as he pressed against her. Jemma jolted slightly at the contact, letting out a shuddering breath as his other hand went to hold her steady.

Carefully, he pushed her legs wider with his shoulders, nipping at her thigh until he could suck bruises into the skin, dragging his tongue over each mark before moving closer to her centre with each press of his lips. She already looked debauched above him, pupils blown wide and cheeks flushed as she watched him, mouth slightly open as she panted, trying to squirm closer to her despite the hold he had on her pelvis. She arched her back, whimpering as he rubbed at her through the thin cotton, his strokes growing both in confidence and pressure.

Despite the gravity of the situation, he couldn’t help but smirk and chuckle slightly when he lowered his head, watching how Jemma seemed to think he was going to remove the barrier between them. Instead, he used his fingers to spread her open through the fabric, pressing a kiss to where her clit remained hidden as he inhaled deeply, the scent of her overwhelming him as his cock throbbed in the confines of his trousers.  Jemma gasped at the blunted sensation as she tried to move herself closer to him, her hands fisting in the sheets. Fitz dragged his tongue down the fabric, pressing hard against her opening and moving around slightly, his saliva adding to the wetness that clung to the material. She moaned, breath hitching as he slid two fingers beneath the seam of her knickers, spreading her even further apart as he continued to tongue at the cloth.

“Oh God,” she muttered, feeling herself opening up to the ministration, her cunt throbbing and desperate as he pushed into the fabric with the hand that had been on her hip previously, rubbing against her aching clit with the drenched cotton. She bucked against him, nearly yelping at the sensation. “Oh Fitz, please,” she begged, trying to rock against him as he put pressure on her belly to keep her against the mattress even while shoving her knickers to the side, nuzzling at her. 

She could feel him smile against her when he kissed one of the love bites on her thigh before moving his mouth to her pussy, pressing another kiss to her centre, gently swirling his tongue around her entrance. She was positively drenched in arousal, nearly fluttering with it against his mouth as he lapped gently at her before pulling away to tug the fabric down and off her body, letting it drop down next to her tights. His hands were under her arse almost immediately then, tugging her the slightest bit closer to the edge of the bed and tilting her hips up, letting her legs dangle over his back as he brought his mouth back down.

His tongue slid around her entrance before he licked up into her, thrusting as much as he could before pulling back to swirl around, revelling in the taste of her. Jemma was whimpering almost non-stop, her hand covering her mouth as she tried to stifle the cries that were leaking out.

“I want to hear you,” he murmured against her, reaching up to blindly tug her hand down and away, resting it against the back of his head as he met her gaze. Her eyes went wide at the implication before she tangled her fingers in his curls, urging him against her softly. She was slick against his tongue, nearly pulsing, as he dragged his lips against her until he found her clit, nudging against it as she jolted, her grip tightening as she tried to circle her hips. He brought one hand up to her centre, pressing against her wet opening as he tongued her clit, one digit dipping into her. She panted, a sharp cry breaking free when he sucked just a little bit harder at her before licking hastily, the finger moving within her being joined by a second. Pumping slowly, he curled his fingers, seeking out her g-spot as he stroked inside her. He hummed against her, chuckling at how her body tensed when he found it, clenching around his fingers as her back arched, her thighs shaking from the effort not to close around his head.

“Please, oh, fuck, please,” she nearly sobbed, voice breaking on the curse, trying to shy away from him but grinding up towards where his mouth was teasing her all at the same time. Her eyes snapped closed, head falling back against the wall of the fuselage as he started pushing into her with more force. His cock ached fiercely in his jeans, the hand that wasn’t playing with her wetness moving down until he could pop open his own button and zipper, letting his erection tent the fabric of his pants even further as the pressure lessened.

“Jemma,” he murmured, revelling in the high-pitched whine that escaped her at his voice rumbling against her, her hand trying to push him just the tiny bit closer as she circled her hips. “Look at me.”

It took her a moment before she obeyed, eyes fluttering open as she lifted her head from the wall, breasts heaving as her gaze finally tracked down to look at him, a guttural noise escaping her at the picture she found. His eyes were completely focused on her as he lapped at her, leaving her clit to drag his tongue along the crease where thigh met hip. His fingers, hidden in the valley of her body, never stopped moving, twisting as he pushed them in and out of her. Keeping his eyes locked on hers he kissed her hip gently before diving back in, his teeth grazing against the throbbing bundle of nerves. She cried out at the sensation, legs shaking as she squirmed, fighting to keep her eyes open.

He ran his tongue in circles, adding a third finger as his other hand moved to cup his erection, squeezing to try and relieve the pressure before he pulled himself out of his pants, groaning against her at the feeling of his own hand. She cursed at the vibrations, her world narrowing down to him and nothing else. Her heart pounded at the way he was looking at her, arousal painted over each atom of his face as affection suffused his gaze, making her dizzy.

“Don’t stop, please, God, don’t stop,” she begged, tilting her hips up towards his face, her voice breaking. He wanted to close his own eyes, to surrender to the taste and feel of her body, to lose himself in her and the love thudding in his heart. She consumed him, the scent of her, the sound of her breathy moans, the way she quivered around his fingers as he pumped them in and out of her at a near punishing rhythm, all while flicking his tongue over her, sucking hard at her clit. He ached, hand coming up to swipe through the wetness that was dripping down his fingers, wrapping his hand around his erection with a hiss. Jemma’s fingers tightened in his hair, holding him to her as she let out a cry, pulsing around his fingers as her heels dug into his back, desperate to keep him against her.   

Her pleading nearly broke him. He had planned to draw it out. To keep her in limbo just a little longer simply to experience everything he could from her but he couldn’t deny her. Angling his wrist and fingers just a little more, he pushed into her, twisting, as his tongue pressed to her clit. Her breathing stopped for a heartbeat before she let out a loud groan, a litany of curses, pleas, and his name pouring from her lips.

He saw the moment she started to break apart, her mouth dropping open as she practically sobbed, back arching as her entire body tensed, shattering against his mouth as a scream broke through her resolve. Her tight cunt clenched around him, her wetness increasing as he lapped at her still, refusing to ease up even as her nails dug into his scalp. Tightening his grip on himself he pumped his cock, only needing a few quick passes of his hand before he grunted, still buried between her legs, while pulsing out his release, hips thrusting with abandon into the ring of his fingers.

He panted against her, slowly pulling his fingers free as her own hand relaxed against his head. Resting his cheek against her thigh, he looked up at her, watching how her chest heaved, her head thumping back against the fuselage again as she carded shaking fingers through his hair. He wiped their release from his hands on a discarded shirt before bringing his fingers up to trace soft patterns on her skin, watching when her eyes fluttered open, exhaustion and vulnerability painted on her face, tears budding on her lashes.

“Jemma,” he breathed, kneeling up and letting her legs drop to his sides as he cupped her cheek.

“Promise me I won’t lose you,” she muttered, wrapping her arms around him as she broke down.

“You won’t lose me,” Fitz replied, kissing her hair, keeping her close to her chest for what felt like forever and no time at all until her sobs calmed. Taking a shuddering breath, she sat back from him, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek before nudging him away. He stumbled back, cheeks burning as he pulled his trousers back up over himself before passing her tights to her. She flushed, eyes flitting from his face to the floor as she redressed before standing up on shaking legs, exhaustion settling over her and nearly sending her back to the ground.

Fitz caught her around the waist, slowly leading her to her bedroom, nudging her onto the stool in front of her desk while he went to grab her hairbrush. She leaned her back against his chest as he gingerly swept the bristles through her hair, pulling it back into a simple ponytail and securing it with the elastic she handed him, fingers still trembling.

“Fitz-” she tried. He dropped a kiss to the crown of her head.

“Don’t,” he whispered, eyes closed for a moment before he looked up, meeting her gaze in the mirror. “Don’t think this was just me comforting you. Don’t act like you don’t know how... how utterly crazy I am about you. I have wanted you in my life since the moment I laid eyes on you. You’re my everything. And I thought I lost you again today for a second and it nearly killed me. And out friend might be dying. And I can’t go another day without telling you I love you.” Her breath hitched in her throat, eyes wide as she looked at him.

He let out a shuddering breath before breaking her gaze, shoving his hands in his pockets as he turned to leave the room.

“Wait,” Jemma croaked, her hand grabbing his wrist, feeling his pulse thumping just as hard as it had in the bathroom.

“Jemma –”

“You’re my everything too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Come visit me on [Tumblr](http://www.kienova66.tumblr.com) if you'd like :)


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